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Garage Logic and Cylinder Index Print E-mail
The Garage Logic website:
http://www.garagelogic.com
has a neat concept called Cylinder Index taught by the Institute for Cylinder Appreciation:

CYLINDER INDEX
The total number of internal combustion cylinders in your possession. Vehicles, gas powered equipment, marine & aviation all qualify.


Cylinder Theory (C.T.), states:

In general, a guy's perceived self-worth increases in direct proportion to the number of internal combustion cylinders under his or her control, i.e., their Cylinder Index.

Thus, those who seek to curtail the internal combustion engine are unwittingly assaulting the very core of a guy's value system. Although the doomsayers are organized and often quite shrill, guys far outnumber leftist extremists. This leads us into Ventura's Corollary, which says:

Guys eventually organize and rise up to stomp on anyone who threatens their value.

Therefore, serious attacks on the internal combustion engine will always be resisted. Cylinder Theory also has application in psychology, as shown by Brand's 2nd Corollary, which declares:

The value a guy places on a relationship can be determined by how he or she portrays their Cylinder Index.

For example, see if you can detect the subtle differences in how a married guy values his or her relationship from these Cylinder Index examples:

Example 1: "My spouse and I have 22 cylinders."
Example 2: "I have 18 cylinders and my spouse has 4 cylinders."
Example 3: "I have 22 cylinders."
Example 4: "I have 22 cylinders, but that wretch I'm married to is nagging me to dump 6 of 'em."
 
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You might be a racer if:
You've slalomed in a construction zone, and counted your penalty time in the rearview afterwards.
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