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20 Ways to Keep a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace |
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- Page
yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
- Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly
the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This
is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you
are.)
- Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and
refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No
I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Chachi."
- Send email to the rest of the company telling
them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in
the bathroom."
- "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't
lost your shoes since you did this.
- While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers
in "Palmolive."
- Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
- Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day
and tell people you're waiting for your document.
- Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but
you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during
the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.
- Insist that your e-mail address be "
This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it
"
- Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask them if they want fries with that.
- Send email to yourself engaging yourself in
an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products.
Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
- Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little
synchronized chair dancing.
- Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it
"IN."
- Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many."
- Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
- Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy
Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children.
- For a relaxing break, get away from it all with
a mask and snorkel in the fish tank. If no one notices, take out your
snorkel and see how many fish you can catch in your mouth.
- Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free
donuts etc...in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none...Just
lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than
that."
- Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
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