FTW Racing - Fabricated To Win
 
  Home arrow Humour arrow Family arrow Have Your Mammies Grammed Saturday, 04 September 2010 
Main Menu
Home
ZC Fairlane
XY Falcon Utility Coupe
News Feeds
Humour
Automotive
Quotes
Sailing
Computers
Recipes
Picture Gallery
Contact Us
Games
Song Lyrics
- - - - - - -
NQPFC Forum Latest
Login Form





Lost Password?
No account yet? Register
Most Read
* All The News
* Shelby Drop Front Suspension Mod.
* Ford Crossflow 250 Performance Mods
* Ford Crossflow Inline 6 Tech Info
* 1965 Shelby GT350 Mustang
* How Fast is Fast - Top Fuel Dragster
* X-Series Falcon Steering Upgrade
* Picture Gallery
* Engine falls off a 33 year old Boeing 747 Jumbo Jet
* Advance Australia Fair
* Anniversary Gift Ideas
* DIY LPG Installation
* Ultimate Desktop Picture - Wallpaper
* The Snake and the Kangaroo
* Edel 35 Manufacturer Brochure Extracts
* From air traffic control
* 50 Great Motorsport Quotes
* Falcon Speedo Gears
* Fire Risk - Plug-in Air Fresheners
* Ford Six Fuel Return Lines
* Bathurst Pole Positions
* Nudist Colony
* Ford 4.0 vs 4.1 I6 Engines
* 1964 Thunderbolt Fairlane
* Dictionary of Australian Slang
* Sailing a Catamaran
* Have Your Mammies Grammed
* How Rare is my Australian Ford?
* Bill Gates' Address to Whitney High School in Vasalia, CA
* A Sailor's Dictionary.
Newsfeeds for your site
Advertisement
Have Your Mammies Grammed Print E-mail
This is a cute way to send "the message"!  There is a serious message at the end, but you get to laugh on the way there.  Now go out and have your mammies grammed!

Perfect Breasts
(o)(o)

Fake Silicone Breasts
( + )( + )

Perky Breasts
(*)(*)

Big Nipple Breasts
(@)(@)

A Cups
o o

D Cups
{ O }{ O }

Wonder Bra Breasts
(oYo)

Cold Breasts
( ^ )( ^ )

Lopsided Breasts
(o)(O)

Pierced Nipple Breasts
(Q)(O)

Hanging Tassels Breasts
(p)(p)

Grandma's Breasts
\ o /\ o /

Against The Shower Door Breasts
( )( )

Android Breasts
| o | | o |

Mammogram Breasts
___ ___


For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.

So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.

After 30 years of astute care,
My gyno, Dr.. Pruitt,
Said I should get a Mammogram
"O.K," I said, "let's do it."

"Stand up here real close" she said,
(She got my boob in line),
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
"Ah yes! Right there, that's fine."

She stepped upon a pedal,
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate came slamming down,
My hooter's in a vise!

My skin was stretched and mangled,
From underneath my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish Pancake thin.

Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's  vise-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenceless tit!

"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?!?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting..

"There, that's good," I heard her say,
(The room was slowly swaying.)
"Now, let's have a go at the other one."
Have mercy, I was praying.

It squeezed me from both up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides.
I'll bet SHE'S never had this done,
To HER tender little hide.

Next time that they make me do this,
I will request a blindfold.
I have no wish to see again,
My knockers getting steam rolled.

If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have gone "ker-pow!"

This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I'd like to stick his balls in there,
And see how THEY come out!

OK gals, now that you have had your laugh, remember... Breast Cancer Awareness... Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy!  Pass the message on to your mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, cousins,
friends -- and even your enemies -- because the WORST enemy is Breast Cancer!
 
< Prev   Next >

You might be a racer if:
You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.
Latest Content
* Ford Crossflow 6 Cylinder Camshaft Suggestions
* Ford 6 Cylinder Engines - Crossflow and OHC
* Roll Center, Center of Gravity & Weight Transfer
* OZZYISMS
* Wheel Fitment - PCD List
* Australian Slang
* Ford Crossflow 6 Rebuild Suggestions
* Ford Alloy Head Crossflow 6 Cylinder Intake & Exhaust Mods
* Ford Crossflow 6 Alloy Head Information
* Chopper
* Tax Explained in Beer
* The Rules of Rural QLD
* Dick Johnson In-Car Commentary
* Nautical Origins of Common Expressions
* Hillbilly Divorce
* Irish Extreme Sports
* SNOTTY RECEPTIONIST
* Feelings of Inadequacy?
* Tips For The Ladies
* Sentence Structure
* We've always done it like that
* Telephone Repair
* Naval Logistics
* Hillbilly Mirror
* Breast Milk
* Bar Tricks
* Ventriloquist Visits NZ
* How Women Think...
* Great Barnyard
* Irish Farmer
: Home :: ZC Fairlane :: XY Falcon Utility Coupe :: News Feeds :: Humour :: Automotive :: Quotes :: Sailing :: Computers :: Recipes :: Picture Gallery :: Contact Us :: Games :: Song Lyrics :: NQPFC Forum Latest :

NQ Websites: Website Design and Hosting, North Queensland