I can only please one person per day.
Today is not your day.
Tomorrow is not looking good either.
I love deadlines.
I am particularly fond of the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Don't be irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
I don't have an attitude problem,
You have a perception problem.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
Never argue with an idiot.
They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Today, I'm planning on being slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
I don't suffer from stress, I'm a carrier.
You can go anywhere you want - just look serious and carry a clipboard.
My reality check bounced!
Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't need him again.
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